What not to do on Tracy Island
by Yada99Schleich
Summary: Some things that the occupants of Tracy Island learn not to do...the hard way. If you have any suggestions for it please shoot me a PM or put it in the reviews :D
1. Chapter 1

Well I've read fanfics like this before and I decided to give one a go myself. Of course, it isn't brilliant and obviously I don't own Thunderbirds.  
If you have any ideas please feel free to post in the reviews or shoot me a PM.

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The list just seemed to appear one day. There was no way Jeff could have no seen it, it was stuck squarely in the middle of the lounge door and scrawled across the top something was written. As he approached he noticed it was Virgil's precise writing that read

**1. It does not matter how funny it is, the next person who steals or replaces the hair gel gets to be the first person to attempt a bungee jump from 2…minus the bungee.**  
Jeff knew what had prompted the rule but he thought this was just Virgil in his angry state. It wasn't until he went to remove it that the Tracy patriarch discovered it had been stuck down using whatever glue Brains had concocted down in the lab and that the list was not going to be moving any time soon.  
Then people caught on and started adding things to the list.

**2. Whoever thought it would be a good idea to remove all of the door handles in the house will surrender themself for disciplinary action immediately.  
**How and why it had been done nobody knew. But what they did know was that Scott was out for blood – Gordon's blood to be precise.

**3. Stop asking about 'the pool incident'. Please.**  
The lopsided form of this indicated that it had been Gordon who had written this one. No matter how much Alan pestered his brothers he couldn't find much out. All he learned was that it had involved the pool, some semi-permanent pink dye and a rescue.

**4. Scott if you're going to fly close to the ground at least check for towns or villages first.**  
Jeff was fed up of contacting towns to apologise for the broken chimneys caused by the sheer force of 1's engines.

**5. Fix the showers!  
**Well people now had the option of ice cold or tomato soup.

**6. Would anybody care to explain about why the suits have holes cut into them?  
**On the bright side, Alan didn't annoy anybody for a few weeks. It was by this uncharacteristic friendliness that Jeff eventually found out.

**7. John, I couldn't care less why you did it but seriously change the sound of the klaxon back before I lose my hearing.  
**Underneath that was written Don't like my singing then? And underneath that Shut it Gordo!

**8. I don't care how effective it is at getting people to be quiet and focus do not, under any circumstances, tell them that they will be strapped the 3's engines.**

**9. Nor can you tell them "We only had 4 fatalities yesterday"!  
**Both of the above were left without explanation – Virgil's blushing at the debrief had been explanation enough for the Tracy boys.

**10. No matter how much you try you will not be able to out fly the US air force.**  
Scott had written this after he almost had to rescue his younger brothers when Virgil somehow though that Thunderbird 2 was up to an aerobatics competition with the US Air Force. Scott had sat watching as the huge bulk of the workhorse plummeted down until it finally recovered from the stall.

**11. NO. MORE. SKYWRITING.**  
It was hard to miss the untidy scrawl of Alan. More so because he had capitalised the sentence before dashing to the bathroom following an intense flight home.

**12. Unicorn bunnies are now in charge of the household! All hail the mighty unicorn bunnies.**

**13. I don't give a damn about how necessary it is Virgil. Regardless of how much pain he is in do not, I repeat, do not, give Scott any strong painkillers unless they will knock him out.  
**Scott had spent the last 4 hours bouncing around the villa, glassy eyed and singing.

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Thanks for reading this :) reviews are appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

As ever thank you for reading this, it really means a lot to me :D If you have any suggestions shoot me a PM or post it in the reviews. Of course, this is going to be a rolling project that never ends but instead just keeps getting added to over time.

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**14.** **It may have been funny once boys but changing the radio comms so that everybody had a different accent ends now.**

Jeff hadn't been impressed by the fact he now sounded like a terrible Mexican impersonator every time he needed to speak to John.

**15. Alan is no longer allowed near pink things when he is in a bad mood.**  
Virgil had been less than impressed at the glittery, feathery makeover that Thunderbird 2 had suffered as a result.

**16. In no case is it acceptable to adjust the air conditioning in 1.**  
Though Scott had managed to get back to Tracy island (after having already spent 4 hours in a freezing cold wasteland rescuing some tourists when their hike had been interrupted by an avalanche) he was promptly rushed into the infirmary by his middle brother with frostbite.

**17. Do not threaten video games companies because you don't like how they ended your favourite games.  
**Jeff had a few embarrassing phone calls to make later that evening.

**18. Gordon + alcohol = bad. Very bad.  
**The ex-aquanaut had been running around for the last hour and a half shouting "The British are coming! The British are coming!"

**19. No matter how many skittles you feed John he will not turn into a "magical wish-granting, glitter pooping unicorn" so please stop trying.  
**A hyperactive space monitor, Scott discovered, was less than desirable when on a rescue.

**20. My nickname is not Larry the Cucumber!  
**Clearly Virgil was not happy – just because he liked green had been Gordon's only thought.

**21. Nor is mine Bob the Tomato  
**Jeff disproved as well apparently.

**22. In fact whoever brought Veggie Tales to the Island has just earned themselves a month-long suspension from the team.**

**23. Gingers are not the cause of global warming!  
**This had been written by Scott on Gordons behalf. Underneath however the prankster had written "I'm not even proper ginger. It's auburn actually". They had found Alan hiding in Virgil room being submitted to painting ginger and auburn and then learning the difference.

**24. When you glue your brother to the ceiling and he is coming unstuck "I hope he falls on his head" is not the appropriate response to have.**

**25. We are never watching Top Gun on movie night again. Understand?  
**Scott and Virgil were now calling each other Iceman and Maverick, with their father shouting "Goddammit Maverick" every time Virgil attempted any fancy manoeuvres alongside Scott.

**26. Stop hoarding the Poptarts!**  
As soon as the artist had found out where exactly Gordon had been hiding them Thunderbird 2 had become a 0 gravity area which resulted in Gordon running across the ceiling to chase the stray packets of Poptarts that had falling his cupboard.

**27. Filling Scotts suit with cold, semi-melted chocolate does not make him sweeter or smell "choco delicious"  
**Nobody owned up.

**28. Taking pictures of people sleeping is not good blackmail material dad!  
**Scott was fed up of hearing "Ickle Scotty looks so cute when he's sleeping"

**29. Do not post videos of people when they are drunk on YouTube. Especially not under "What really happens when the Thunderbirds are not busy"  
**Nobody could really tell what John was singing – maybe if he stopped switching between Spanish, French, German, Polish, Russian, Chinese, Afrikaans, Portuguese and Latin they would be able to tell.

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Thanks for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

*Quietly slips into room* Life's been a bit hectic just recently and I'm seriously struggling for ideas for this. Apologies for that (please don't kill me) and I hope you enjoy this next chapter.  
I am also looking for somebody to help me foster an idea and to then beta read it for me so PM me if you feel up to it and I will get back to you ASAP.  
So here it is, Chapter 3 of What not to do on Tracy Island!

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**30. John is no longer allowed to cook. EVER.**

The last thing anybody had expected to see was Onaha's writing and yet, following Johns disastrous attempt at some microwave rice, here it was gracing the list. Well, they all reasoned that since he didn't need to cook on Thunderbird 5 so the kitchen almost being destroyed was kind of inevitable.

**31. Alan is banned from pranking forever.  
**Quite why Alan had decided to drain the pool remained a mystery (much like many of his other pranks) however Gordon was more than angry about it.

**32. I thought I told you that the Thunderbirds are not to be used for stunts!  
**Apparently Jeff had seen the amount of money spent of motion sickness tablets over the last month and therefore chosen to reiterate the rule.

**33. Scott Carpenter Tracy! If you take one more slice of apple pie without permission from me and your father I will, God help me, find a way to permanently repaint 1.  
**Grandma hadn't been happy when she discovered the fate of the youngest grandsons birthday treat. Underneath Gordon had scrawled "You tell him Grandma" and then Scott had retaliated with "If you truly favour that yellow tin can of yours you will forget this"

**34. Whoever put fish in the vents will die.  
**Whatever you say Alan, whatever you say…

**35. Scott. Alcohol. New Year's fireworks. Never again.  
**Scott's plan had been brilliant until Grandma suggested a celebratory drink at which point his plan then blew up in his face, literally in his face.

**36. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY PIANO?!  
**Underneath somebody had taped the sheet music of "Piece for Prepared Piano" and Virgil had written (albeit in shaky writing as he struggled to control his temper) "I am _not _a musician that plays experimental pieces!" Clearly Virgil didn't appreciate Gordon's thought into his music.

**37. Would it be possible for you to modify the system so that John can't override absolutely everything?  
**The entire team were fed up of waking up to The Water Buffalo song at 3am.

**38. When John tells you that he is running out of power and requires some assistance you are not to reply with "Try burning some books". You are to go and help him.  
**The space monitor had been thoroughly displeased with Scott's suggestion when he had swapped places with Alan and taken a role in the mission rather than sitting up on 5.

**39. Do not wake Dad up before 8am unless it is EMERGENCY.  
**Gordon had one hell of a black eye after attempting so without bringing is father some caffine.

**40. That long rope in the back of Thunderbird 2 is for rescues only – do not use it for bungee jumping!**

**41. Nor may you tie it to the shoes of annoying MP's that get in the way on rescues.  
**Virgil had only just noticed before take-off and Scott felt that he never wanted to repeat that conversation ever again.

**42. 3 does not fit into 1's silo so please stop trying.  
**Scott was horrified when he saw the damage caused to his baby's silo.

**43. Regardless of how annoying somebody is you cannot shout "Duty calls" and just run off from whoever you are speaking to.  
**In Virgil's defence it helped get rid of some very irritating music students.

**44. Gordon is terrible at art.  
**Or Jeff was just displeased with the new look of all their suits.

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Thank you so much for the support and reviews :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Oooh Chapter 4!**

**Please sit back and enjoy - and if I make you laugh please don't die (I may be first aid trained but I'm off duty today :p )  
Please not that rule 47 was prompted by "The Song" by MBallyntyne. Very good story and it may help you understand that rule just a little more.  
I have also just published a new story which I am particularly proud of ("Twenty-eight, Twenty-nine, Thirty") so if you could please spare a few minutes to read that and tell me what you think I would be honoured and very, very happy indeed :)**

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**45. The chocolate is not to be hoarded.  
**Thunderbird 5 had become a zero gravity zone until Alan had surrendered the chocolate to his elder blond brother.

**46. There is absolutely no reason to hoard anything whilst you are on the island so you may as well stop now.**  
Scott sulked about losing his apple pie and brownie stash to his father's newest rule.

**47. Next time that Gordon is delirious please, please, keep him away from ANYTHING he could possibly hack into, lock us out of or annoy us with.**  
Being locked out of the system whilst Gordon tunelessly sang the chorus (and nothing but the chorus mind) of "Yellow Submarine" had definitely not been the highlight of Johns year. Could've been worse – Virgil was locked in the infirmary with him.

**48. Whoever decided to swap all of the lids on my specially mixed jars of paint has just signed their death warrant.**  
Though Virgil could tell what the colours were he was just annoyed that the colours off the lid had mixed into it, therefore ruining the colour that he had spent various hours creating.

**49. Kitchen appliances are not viable weapons.**  
The rule had been prompted by John failing to identify what he was grabbing off the counter and now Gordon had a second black eye in the shape of the bottom of the blender. Upon reading the rule John scowled before returning to whacking Alan with the coffee jug.

**50. Very funny. Now take the lizards out of my shower.**  
Taking one glance at the rule Scott decided he really didn't want to know.

**51. When I find the person who put rubber spiders everywhere in my room.**  
Clearly Virgil wanted to find them so that he had a test subject for the sedative Brains had been working on.

**52. The game "How many people can you fit on a picnic bench" is hereby forbidden. If I catch anybody playing it you will be suspended from the team for 3 weeks.**  
In the team's defence it had been the idea of the Scouts that they were keeping charge of following a landslide.

**53. The duct tape wars end now!**

**54. It is unacceptable (and pretty low) to fill peoples shoes with pencil sharpening's as a form of payback.**  
Jeff just glared at what his mother had written.

**55. The next person who calls Scott "Colonel Sheppard" is in serious trouble.  
**Turns out Scott wasn't a fan of Stargate. Didn't stop everybody calling him it though.

**56. There is no alternative to gravity so please don't try unless you know that people can cope with your attempts.**  
One hostile fighter and multiple bathroom dashes later Alan decided he much preferred Thunderbird 2, especially when during incidents like the one that had prompted said fancy manoeuvres from Scott.

**57. Grandmas wicker basket is not the ultimate question to life, the universe and everything.**

**58. Get rid of the water balloons.**  
Following a visit to a burning school they took a large bag of paint filled balloons off an injured student.

**59. Not by dropping them out of Thunderbird 2!**  
Eh…too late Dad.  
So I can see Gordon. So I can see.


	5. Chapter 5

**Well it's time for yet another chapter! Seriously guys I'm getting desperate for ideas so if you had any that you could tell me that would be absolutely brilliant of you.  
Please enjoy chapter 5 of What not to do on Tracy Island!**

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**60. Do not attempt to speak faux Old English near John.  
**Nobody knew why the space monitor had decided to learn Old English in the first place but Alan's version of "just add th to the end of most of the words" had earned him a four hour rant off his elder brother.

**61. Please refrain from putting Dr Seuss quotes into the reports.**  
Jeff stared at the rule, slightly disappointed that his sons had worked it out.

**62. Virgil how many times do I have to tell you that the Thunderbirds are not ships from the age of sail. Damage reports are not to include phrases such as "hulled below the waterline" or "aft the mainsail".**

**63. Regardless of the necessity or how the desperate the situation do not 'squish' things with my laptop!**  
Alan. Spiders. Enough said.

**64. Do not, under any circumstance, re-enact an entire Silly Songs skit just to explain why you are annoyed at something. Got it?**  
In Tin-Tin's defence her hairbrushes had stopped disappearing.

**65. Whenever you shout "Duck!" please ensure that your intention is very clear. Very, very clear.**  
Whilst John continued observing a bird next to the small waterfall Scott had hit the deck, and ended up sliding part way down the cliff.

**66. We are never playing "Pin the tail on the donkey" again!**  
Although the boys had to admit that watching their father chase Gordon around the house had been extremely amusing indeed.

**67. Our budget (nor out facilities) permit going halfway across the world for an ice-cream festival. Despite how good you claim the ice-cream to be.**  
This was added by Lady P since nobody on the island was actually complaining about the decision Jeff had made.

**68. No light-sabers!**  
Not quite a laser sword, however it was still a terrifying plasma beam of doom that had blasted through the ceiling and almost hit Virgil's prized piano. Brains just hid in fear for the next few weeks.

**69. Threats are fine. Actually going ahead with your threat is definitely not fine. **  
Whilst it was common among the boys to threaten each other about being thrown out of the Thunderbirds they were currently in, Gordon had in no way been ready for Virgil to stay true to that – especially not 15,000 feet in the air. He was very glad for the Christmas lights he'd strung up that had started the whole argument.

**70. Scott, Gordon. Do not consume 6 jugs of eggnog by yourself.**  
They had, which prompted the next rule.

**71. Stop doing British military drill in the lounge guys.**  
Quite where Scot had managed to get an Royal Air Force and Royal Navy officer outfits nobody knew. But the video of him and Gordon taking the mick out of their drill was interesting enough.

**72. Please stop referring to Gordon as "Able Seaman".**  
Gordon knew he was never going to live the drill incident down, which explained why all the footage of him doing it had been modified or deleted.

**73. In fact, just stop making fun of yourselves and the British services full stop.**  
Somehow one of the videos had made it onto Youtube again.

**74. Stop filling pens with ketchup!**

**75. I don't care how perfect you think we are together, stop locking Tin-Tin and myself in closets together!**  
It may have been funny the first time. Now, the pair were avoiding standing too close to any form of closet together – meaning they just stood in the middle of the rooms. Alan was out for blood over it and Scott was fed up of helping them.

**76. The same goes for your father and myself.**  
This was written in bright pink.

**77. Virgil may be a heavy sleeper but if you wish to actually take-off within one hour do not wake him up with anything wet, cold or hot.**

**78. Or anything that involves my being injured, tickled, poked or prodded.**  
Virgil had spent a long while expressing how annoyed he had been woken up for the last few rescues.

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**Thank you very much for sticking with me and reading this, it really means a lot that people are actually enjoying this.  
****It would also be lovely if you could take the time to read Twenty-eight, Twenty-nine, Thirty.**

**~Yada**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N  
I'm back! Life's been a bit hectic and my internet has been derping so I've not been on much. I'm so amazed that people still want this to continue so I will thank you all in advance for reading.  
I've also been wasting my life on pinterest when the internet was actually working so…sorry.  
I would like to thank kattfan12001 for 79 and the inspiration for 80. 81 is one that I almost ended up doing at my mates house when her internet rejected my laptop. The only thing that stopped this from happening was the excessive amount of youtube videos we were watching at the same time.**

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**79. Gordon is banned from the internet until John or Brains find a way to completely block the pranking websites.**  
Some of Gordon's latest pranks had been a little…extreme for Jeff's liking.

**80. I don't care how old you boys are compared to Alan, you are not to attempt to drive his stock car under any circumstances.**

**81. Do not allow John to get so bored that he ends up playing 50 straight games of solitaire. Or mahjong for that matter.**  
When Scott had stepped on board Thunderbird 5 he had found John huddled under a table muttering about "black six to red seven, match the green dragons – and thaaat tile's blocked so I can't, bring that king down and add the queen".

**82. Whoever introduced Tin-Tin to Tumblr is going to pay very dearly indeed.**  
If the boys had thought that her telling them about her favourite TV shows was bad enough then goodness knows what they were thinking now.

**83. If Alan is going to use the iron please ensure it is on his clothes and his clothes only.**  
When Jeff had discovered how horrific the tramlines in his shirt were he'd spent the entire business meeting wearing his jacket. Now, sat on the floor with a glass of water and shaking badly, he was seriously regretting having ever let his youngest "help" him at all.

**84. No we cannot get a puppy!**  
An earthquake in California had seen the boys pulling several shelter dogs free of the wreckage. And one little border collie cross had stared at them with big wide eyes, fallen of his massive paws and let one of his huge ears flop onto the other one.

**85. You boys wanted a puppy, you got a puppy – now stop making your grandmother care for it.**  
Not that grandma was complaining.

**86. Can you please clear up everything that the puppy leaves anywhere on the island and teach him to stop crying at night.**  
Even Virgil had woken as the puppy's cries tore through his heart.

**87. Virgil stop forcing people to have hydration fluids after every long rescue. If they fall over and collapse, fine. But seriously stop.**  
It seemed that it was only Scott who had seen the prankster tipping his down the drain.

**88. Again – out facilities do not include going to Comic-Con. End of story.**  
Tin-Tin was on the warpath now that she had read this rule.

**89. I highly recommend that if Tin-Tin is on her phone or laptop that you leave her well alone. Chances are, she'll be on Tumblr, Pinterest or FanFiction.**  
Alan had one hell of a black eye though.

**90. I thought I told you that kitchen appliances are not weapons!**  
John shrugged at the rule before continuing to whack his two youngest brothers with the blender.

**91. NO DRAWING ON THE VISORS OF OUR HELMETS.**  
It had been funny until Scott had some rude "tattoos" added to his cheek.

**92. And don't pin things to our back if we're on a rescue either.**  
While the teens had been arrested Virgil still had a distinctly boot-shaped mark on his back.

**93. Stop squishing things with John's laptop!**

**94. We are International Rescue. We cannot just go on holiday when we feel like it.**

**95. FINE. But we are not going anywhere tropical – if that's the case we are staying right here on this island.**  
Scott had tried and failed to reason with his brothers.

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**A/N**  
**Thanks again for reading!  
With regard to 80, I'm not sure if they have stock car racing outside of the UK but I know that in the UK Alan would be old enough to take part in mini stocks (movie-verse) and he is definitely old enough if you are reading this as though it's TV-verse.**  
**I you have any ideas for what they can't do or a name for the puppy please PM me.  
****I'm also going on holiday twice in the next 3 weeks (hence the holiday part at the end) and I'm hoping to get some inspiration – the first week is being spent with 3 rowdy boys so it could be very interesting.  
****Hopefully I'll publish one or two chapters when I get back, but almost straight after I get back on the third week I have school again so there could be a little delay. Especially as I'll have no wifi when I'm away.**

**~Yada**

EDIT: As soon as the puppy has a name I may write a small story involving it and what the family think of it and for your reference here is a picture of the puppy

dog-images/jetson-the-border-collie_54108_2011-01-12_


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N  
Considering I just spent a week with 3 guys I'm severely lacking ideas for this. The puppy mentioned in the previous chapter is yet to be named so if any of you have ideas please let me know.  
I also got a little bored at the weekend and decided to watch some of the original Thunderbirds episodes (along with Stingray and Captain Scarlet) and I'm afraid to say, it's terrifying. Much, much better than the 2004 movie but I find that it's easier to write the characters based on movie traits. Although I will always stand by that Alan is 3's pilot, Gordon is a red-head, former WASP member who won an Olympic medal for swimming (prior to his hydrofoil accident) and that Grandma lives on the island too – all of which they changed for the movie.  
Please enjoy this next chapter of What not to do on Tracy Island.**

**96. Just because the duty free cashier thought that John and I were a gay couple does not mean you can change our ringtones!**  
Scott was in a bad mood and their holiday had barely even started.

**97. And stop buying us anything with rainbows on. You really need to grow up you guys!**

**98. In fact, whoever brought this list on holiday with us can throw themselves in front of a bus.**  
Underneath Jeff had written "Scott calm down" which was closely followed by "But they are so immature!". It took all of Gordon's self-control to not write "An you're not being immature by writing your argument on here?".

** not take Scott or Virgil on a plane unless you know the pilot is highly experienced.**  
Alan had started running very quickly towards the terminal (closely followed by Jeff) as the pair confronted the young pilot following his inability to deal with the turbulence very well. Jeff doubted the poor guy would ever recover from being cornered by Scott and Virgil, even if John managed to drag them away before it got nasty. Jeff also doubted that the media would leave them alone if they ever found out.

**100. Just because we are in Greece does not mean you can try to smash plates after every single meal.**  
Alan looked at the list and decided it was better if he didn't know what his family got up to after a few too many drinks.

**101. Stop fighting over the shower at 6am!**  
At the request of other families in the nearby rooms this had been added by the cleaning maid.

**102. Theme parks. Alan. Never again.**  
Gordon had practically thrown Alan out of the rental car when they realised the young blond wasn't going to last the entire trip back to the hotel.

**103. Undoing the waistband on my swim shorts is UNACCEPTABLE.**  
Well at least they all knew why Virgil refused to go back to the waterpark. Virgil doubted he would ever live that one down.

**104. You are not allowed to do stupid things in elevators. I'm not going to elaborate, you all know what I'm talking about.**  
Mysteriously all of his sons had taken to using the stairs no matter which floor they had to go to.

**105. No more playing on rope swings no matter how safe they look!**  
Virgil hadn't been happy that he'd had to run nearly a mile just to do first aid on his little brother because Scott had been idiot enough to let him go first – without checking the rope before hand.

**106. John we trusted you to translate for us.**  
Scott had been attempting to complain to a Greek waiter but, with then unable to understand each other, he had called on John to help. John couldn't resist and now Scott apparently thought the waiter was "a baboon faced, extremely incompetent moron"

**107. John stop using your knowledge of foreign languages to eavesdrop on peoples conversations.**  
Jeff was fed up of their dinnertime commentary of everything occurring in the lives of their fellow diners.

**108. And no swearing at people at foreign languages either!**

**109. It would be really nice if we could get through this holiday without anybody being arrested, beaten up or give a large fine. Understand?**  
Scott had a run in with a pushy reporter that kept asking about the YouTube videos paint filled water balloons and the rescue where Virgil had been kicked in the back. Unfortunately, fot the reported he was now well acquainted with Scott's fist, unfortunately for Scott this had been witnessed by the hotel security.

**A/N  
Wow! 7 chapters and 109 points. I'll be honest I never thought it would get this far so I thank you all for your continued support. I'm still looking for names for the puppy and of course any ideas that you have would be lovely.  
I often have around 30 ideas per chapter, around 10 of these will get cut for not being good enough and another 5 usually thought up at random time of the day where I don't have an oppurtunnity to write them down.**


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